I've traveled to many countries and witnessed bureaucrats in all shades, colors, and sizes, working in different agencies, offices, and departments. Some bureaucrats work professionally and arduously, and possess a true desire to help people while many others work slowly, making simple tasks exceedingly difficult, treating recipients poorly, and chasing everyone away. People grumble at the long lines. They complain about the poor customer service and complicated forms and procedures. But they rarely connect the bureaucrats' impact upon society. For example, if bureaucrats make it difficult for people to renew their driver's license, then how many obstacles do entrepreneurs face as they start a business, or a homeowner applying for permits to annex another room onto the house? People, for some reason, grant the bureaucrats a free pass. However, they don't hesitate to vote leaders and politicians out of office who did their jobs poorly. Thus, I wrote this parody to express my appreciation to the world's bad bureaucrats, and, unfortunately, the world has too many of them.